Who would you say are your truest friends?

I’ve been reading a book on the wisdom of the ancient church father Augustine for contemporary pastors, written by Joseph Sherrard, one of the pastors at Signal Mountain Presbyterian Church. Sherrard highlights the importance of friendship for Augustine, who was rarely alone, often in the company of friends.

There are different forms of friendship for Augustine. There are the kinds of friendships that can formed, often quite quickly and easily, around criticism, gossip, and negativity. I’ve been involved in friendships like this myself, where all we ever seem to do is murmur and complain about something. But then there is what he considered true friendship, which is the shared pursuit of truth, especially as it has been revealed in the Christian faith.

One of the qualities in an Augustinian friendship is the ability to be both loving and truthful with our friends. Oftentimes we feel we can only be one or the other with our friends, that we can only be loving and supporting and encouraging, for example, and never question or challenge or disagree. But true friends can be both. True friends can, as the Apostle Paul put it, speak the truth in love to one another (Ephesians 4:15). Because they know and trust that they are truly loved, true friends can both give and receive truths that can sometimes be difficult for us to share. That’s the kind of friendship Augustine had, for example, with his fellow church father Jerome.

So who has been a friend like that for you? And for whom might you be such a friend?

The older I get, the more grateful I am for the deep and true friendships I’ve had over many years, as well as those newer ones I’ve found along the way.